Hartford Courant

May 5, 2014

Debbie Kievits decided not to stand idly by while her son was bullied at school 12 years ago. In learning to advocate for him and help him advocate for himself, she took on a role that has turned her into a mother figure for hundreds of Norwich youth.

“She transformed my daughter. Deb is basically her second mom,” said Leatoya Richardson. “She’s had such a big impact on my daughter, I could cry. I can’t put it into words.”

At the Norwich Bully Busters’ annual dinner April 30, Richardson’s daughter Latasia Johnson, 14, was cited as one of 14 recipients of the Norwich Youth Services award for her community involvement. Latasia “truly is a blessing because of you and your program,” Richardson told Kievits. “This kid has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. I thank God for that.”

Kievits sees her work as helping kids realize that “they have a voice, they can advocate for themselves.” While some people think teenagers are inherently ungrateful, she begs to differ. “They may not show it to you right away, but they do,” she said. In any case, “that’s not why I go and do for them. I do it because it makes a difference.”

Kievits, along with some other concerned parents, founded Bully Busters around her kitchen table as a way to help their children deal with bullying behavior. She learned that what kids in that situation wanted most is a chance to be heard and have a voice in their schools and their lives. “You have to speak out about the challenge, instead of ignore it – that happens all too often,” she said. Now, at any given time, between 200 and 300 local kids are involved in the program in one way or another.

“Kindness is magical,” is Kievits’ mantra. ” It’s kind of a lost art,” she said. “It’s more fun to be kind than to be mean.” That goes for adults, too – Kievits points out that bullying in senior citizen environments is becoming a more widely recognized problem.

To give kids a voice, Kievits offers them opportunities to speak, perform, create and give back to their community. Bully Buster youth have visited senior citizens’ centers, made sleeping bags for the homeless, staged plays and shows of art work, dance and drama, designed and painted “buddy benches” for local schools and spoken with local and regional lawmakers. “Some of the programs come from the kids. We give them the space and the tools,” she said.

Latasia said that Bully Busters works not just with kids on the receiving end, but with kids who are doing the bullying. “They had really negative minds, but [Bully Busters] just change people’s minds,” she said. “It keeps them active. It’s not just Bully Busters, it’s community service.”

Kievits said that community service is a great equalizer between bully and victim. “On clean-up days, we’re all out there picking up trash. We’re all getting dirty, we’re all getting nasty. We’re not teasing each other. I tell the kids, ‘if you can do it around garbage, you can do it around the school day. Think of what your day would be like if no one picked on each other.'” For many, that’s a big revelation, she said.

Often, kids who have been through Bully Busters return as adults to keep giving back. David Smith is a case in point: after performing in the Bully Busters’ theater program, “he ended up getting a full ride to SUNY Purchase. Now he’s living out his dream on Broadway,” Kievits said. Smith has been back since his success to help with the theater program and stoke the dreams of more young people. “It motivates them,” Kievits said.

The Bully Busters’ recent World Youth Day festival brought together kids from diverse backgrounds to celebrate the variety of local culture via food, dance, poetry and music. Kievits works with Norwich agencies like the Salvation Army and Norwich Youth Services, as well as St. Vincent dePaul, the police department and the school system to help young people find their voices and thrive. Bully Busters youth have organized candidates’ forums prior to local elections, posing questions about their concerns to those running for office.

Kievits is “definitely a surrogate mom for the community, “said Bully Busters alumnus and volunteer Frankie Stranges-Curcio. “She represents that motherly spirit for kids. Wherever Deb’s around, it’s like a second home for kids in Norwich.”